


Apologies

by Shanieomaniac



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26509927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shanieomaniac/pseuds/Shanieomaniac
Summary: Dr. Horrible, the latest member of the Evil League of Evil, has a new invention - The Necro-Essence inducer. It allows the user to communicate with the recently deceased.Naturally, Billy uses it to talk to Penny. It's why it was invented, after all.Reposted story I wrote a decade ago on LJ (slightly tweaked).
Relationships: Billy/Penny (Dr. Horrible)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is another story I wrote long ago that was posted elsewhere, pre-AO3. It's not based on a dream, but IIRC it was conceived while I was trying to sleep one night. LOL. I've tweaked it and edited it before I put it here (I had no concept of proofreading back then, it seems) but the story is the same.
> 
> Anyway, I don't think this is very good, but I'm putting it up here anyway. So, enjoy!

It was raining. 

Not much of a surprise there. In Dr Horrible’s mind it was always raining, storming even. Dark thunderclouds pressing down on him like the weight of a hundred suns. Only, there was no sun. At the very least there was no sun at that time of night but even if it wasn’t 3AM, it could be the middle of the afternoon without a cloud in the sky and the sun still wouldn’t shine for him. Not since that day. 

Not since Penny died. 

Thunder and lightning rumbled around him. He didn’t mind the storm. It insured he would be undisturbed, so he figured it was a preferred weather condition. 

Leaving Moist, lab coat and goggles behind at his latest ill-begotten form of transportation (those courier vans were always coming in handy), he made his way through the cemetery, waterproof lantern in one hand, his latest accomplishment in the other. Approaching the familiar grave, he halted. There she was; what was left of her anyway. The grass had not yet fully grown in yet. That was fine. The sooner the better – the more effective it would be.

Dr Horrible set up the device carefully, in the grass at the foot of the grave. Luckily, he had thought to waterproof it. Placing the lantern on the headstone, he took a deep breath. 

“Here goes nothing,” he muttered, pulling the remote from his hoodie, he pressed the ACTIVATE button. 

Nothing happened. 

“Balls,” he swore. Just then, a bright light flashed from the device and a form began to appear in front of him - Her form, the most beautiful girl Billy had ever known was coming into view before his very eyes. She was floating a couple feet off the ground and as she solidified, he held his breath. Would she hate him for what he had done? Or would she accept his carefully rehearsed apology? He would find out soon enough. 

Penny opened her mouth to speak. 

“Wha…oh,” she dropped to the ground as her body materialized. Billy quickly reached down to help her. 

“You ok?” he asked, before realizing what a stupid question that was. She was dead – definitely not all right. 

“I don’t – don’t know,” she responded, returning to her feet. She surveyed the area. “Where are we?” 

“Um…” Billy struggled to speak. He had this all planned out, what he was going to say, but now that she was before him, words failed. “A cemetery.” 

“Why are we in a cemetery?” 

“…” 

She stopped and held her hand up to the air. “It’s raining,” she concluded. 

“Yeah.” 

“Then why am I not getting wet?” 

Dr. Horrible hadn’t even thought of that one, but Billy figured honesty was the best policy. 

“You’re not real,” he told her, before amending “Well you’re real, but not… it’s complicated.” He took a deep breath. “You’re a solidified projection of your essence… you’re dead.” 

Penny gasped. “I – I’m dead? How? Why?” 

_She doesn’t even_ _know?_ Billy wondered to himself. _Great, how do I explain this without upsetting her even more, if that’s even possible?_

“Um,” he began, “Docto-er, I mean someone attacked the Caring Hands dedication. There was an explosion, and you were hit.” 

Billy closed his eyes as though trying to block out painful memories. Penny’s eyes however were wide. 

“Oh God, I remember. The shelter… Captain Hammer… Dr. Horrible… YOU!” 

Penny immediately drew away from Billy. He drew a stinging breath. “Yeah, about that…” 

“You’re Dr. Horrible.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“Why?” 

Dr. Horrible blinked, telling her, “I just am. I wanted to, you know, change the world, and… stuff” he trailed off. 

“No,” Penny demanded, “Why did you try to kill Captain Hammer?” 

He sighed. “I’m evil. And, he’s my nemesis.” 

The spectral figure shook her head. “That’s not good enough.” 

“He’s also a total tool who doesn’t care about anyone, including you.” 

“Still no reason to kill someone.” 

Billy really didn’t want to get lectured, but still. 

“So, you’re evil,” Penny remarked 

“Yep.” 

“An achiever, Like Bad Horse.” 

“Actually, he’s my boss,” Dr Horrible admitted. 

“Oh,” she nodded. “Do you hurt people?” 

“I try not to,” Billy replied. 

_Then again,_ he thought, _I didn’t try to hurt you and look what happened. You’re dead, thanks to me._

Penny nodded solemnly before asking, “Have you ever thought about being good?” 

Billy raised an eyebrow. “What like a superhero?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Nah,” he told her, “I don’t have any superpowers. I’m not even very athletic.” 

“Mm?” 

Billy hung his head as he though about all the beatings he’d received at the hands of Captain Hammer. His voice a half mumble, he admitted, “I tend to get my ass kicked a lot. I wouldn’t make a very good superhero even if I tried” 

*beep* 

Penny looked down at the device on the ground. “What’s that?” 

“A necro-essence inducer,” Dr. Horrible explained. He didn’t want to explain what it had started out as – a dream inducer. He had been building it so he could dream about her. She was, after all, “the girl of his dreams.” Lately all there had been were nightmares. It hadn’t been difficult modifying it to tap into what was left of her spirit. Just a little stolen wonderflonium (much easier to come by these days as a member of the Evil League of Evil), and some complex calculations. He honestly hadn’t expected it to work as well as it did. 

“I meant what was the beep?” 

Billy’s raised his head back up to look into Penny’s soft eyes. “It’s a power meter. The wonderflonium –” 

“Wonder-what?” 

“… Wonderflonium used to power it only lasts so long, then –” he waved his hand in the air as if trying to convey something he didn’t have the heart to say. 

“Then?” 

“Then you disappear.” 

“Disappear?” 

“Yeah. Fade away.” 

Penny’s brow dipped down 

“Oh,” She remarked, pausing a moment before asking, “Will it hurt?” 

Billy shook his head fervently. “Nonono… you won’t feel a thing. You’ll just um, poof basically.” 

_You might not feel a thing_ , he thought, but I will. _I’ll still be stuck here with a leader who eats hay and a best friend who costs me a fortune in paper towels each month._

_Actually,_ he realized bitterly, _that’s just another lie. I stopped feeling anything the moment you died. The clouds rain down, the sky smothers me, and I feel nothing._

_Anyway, on to the rehearsed part._

“Penny,” he began, “why I did this is I wanted to get the chance to say I’m sorry, sorry for... uh… um” 

For the second time Billy’s words failed him. He had thought about writing it on his hand but Moist pointed out it would be kind of hard to see at night, 

“I’m sorry,” He tried again, “for hurting you. It’s all my fault. I just... I… I didn’t” 

This was harder than Billy had anticipated. He’d never been very good at apologies, and this was his most important to date. 

Penny meanwhile stood there looking as sweet as ever, patiently allowing her Billy Buddy to speak his soul. 

Billy blinked again. “Look, what I’m trying to say is I’m sorry about what happened. I’ve never been sorrier for anything in my life. Not even that time I set my parents' house on fire.” 

“You set your parent’s house on fire?” she asked quizzically, raising an eyebrow. 

Billy smiled. “Chemistry set. I was ten. Don’t ask.” 

They both chuckled. 

*beep* 

They stopped laughing and looked at each other. 

“You don’t have to accept my apology, even though I really really mean it,” the blond-haired figure explained, going back to his prepared statement, “and I am fully ready for you not to. In fact, if you choose to completely ignore me...” 

“Billy?” 

He stopped for a moment. 

“Yeah?” he asked. 

Penny smiled. “You’re trying too hard.” 

“Sorry.” 

“And stop apologizing. I forgive you.” 

“Sorry,” he stammered, “err, I mean sorry for, ah, wait what?” 

Penny’s smile only grew as she gazed at the by now soaking wet man 

“I forgive you,” she told him, her natural kindness shining through the darkness of the graveyard. 

Billy felt like at least ten of the suns had been lifted from his shoulders. 

Just then, a crack of lightning hit somewhere in the cemetery. Billy flinched, but Penny screamed and dropped down on all fours. The young man knelt beside her. 

“It’s ok,” he assured. “It can’t hurt you.” 

She nodded. “I know. It’s just, the noise.” 

“Ah,” Billy understood. He supposed silently that if he had been on the receiving end of an exploding death ray, loud noises would scare him too. 

“You know,” she thought aloud, “I never had this much trouble standing when I was alive.” Billy smiled and pulled her back up to her feet. As she put her hand on his arm, Billy realized how cold her touch was. There was no warmth to it like there had been in the Laundromat. But then, it wasn’t icy either. It was just room temperature. Or at least the same temperature as the outside air, as though there was no heat source which he realized there wasn’t. 

The two figures stood there, in the rain for a few moments before saying anything 

“I –” They both began. Billy motioned for her to go first. 

“I waited for you,” Penny told him, “at the coin wash. With frozen yogurt.” 

This surprised Billy. “You did?” 

“Yeah. I enjoyed seeing you there. It was nice to have someone to talk to outside the shelter. Someone who wasn’t always talking about themselves.” 

“Captain Hammer?” Billy guessed. 

“Yeah. He seemed so nice. I wonder if he even loved me.” 

Dr. Horrible tried to stifle a snort; Tried and failed. 

“What?” the spirit remarked. 

“Nothing,” Horrible replied with a sneer. 

“So you don’t think so.” 

“Uhh no,” he said. He was trying to be polite, but sometimes he wondered if Penny was too innocent for her own good. 

_No,_ Billy decided, _She_ _wasn’t too innocent_ . He mused silently. S _he’s perfect. Everything about her is perfect. Except for the dead status. That part, not so_ _good actually_ _._

Suddenly, lightning struck again, this time not quite as close, but still near enough to make Penny cry out again in surprise. Only this time she didn’t fall to the ground, she fell forward – right into Billy’s arms, 

Billy took a sharp breath in and held it; he had never been this close to Penny before. It felt both wonderful and somewhat unsettling at the same time. He had waited for this moment for so long, but to have it happen now? 

*beep* 

Billy looked at the device. One bar left. Only 25% power. She would be gone soon and then he would be left alone, and it was right about then that he noticed she was crying. 

_Oh no. Not now. I don’t think I can handle tears._

He didn’t even know if dead people could cry. He couldn’t really tell as he was already so wet that if her tears did hold water, they would be lost in the drenched mass of his hoodie. So he just let her cry. She pulled herself together relatively quickly before apologizing. 

Penny sniffled. “Sorry. Just a little um, overwhelmed.” 

“’S’ok.” 

She collected herself and pulled back from his embrace. “So, what were you going to say?” 

“I –” He paused. He wanted to say how much he loved her; how she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that if he could do it all over again, he would have gone after her rather than steal the wonderflonium. But he couldn’t say any of that. So, he just settled for what he’d longed to tell her for since he first saw her. 

“I love your hair,” he said quietly, staring deep into her eyes. She gazed back and before he could say anything else, she closed the distance between them once more and kissed him. It wasn’t a forceful kiss; Penny wasn’t the type to do anything forcefully. But there was an eagerness and an intensity to it, as though she had been meaning to do that for some time and would have gladly had other things not gotten in the way. Also, the kiss felt downright electric – not in the metaphorical romantic energy way, but as though he was locking lips with a power line. Dr. Horrible realized it was probably a side effect of the necro-essence inducer, but Billy didn’t care at all. The sensation raced through him and set his soul on fire. He relished in the sensation for a moment before his brain reminded him he was kissing a dead person and he pulled away. 

“What?” she asked, looking sad. 

Billy shook his head. “Nothing, it’s just...” He thought for a moment, “weird.” 

Penny gave him a hurt look. 

“I mean,” he told her, “It’s nice, but you ARE dead after all and –” 

“Want me to do it again?” She asked. 

“Sure.” 

This time Billy returned the kiss. Again, it was somewhat odd as she had no body heat and felt chilled to the touch, despite the electric feeling, but that coolness was easily replaced by the warmth in his heart. He was kissing her! And she was kissing him in return. It was quite possible the best thing that he had ever experienced. 

Penny stopped kissing long enough to look up at Billy with loving eyes. 

“Billy,” she asked, “do you love me? Is that why you tried to kill Captain Hammer?” 

“Ummm, maybe?” Billy replied. 

“Do you?” 

“Huh?” 

“Do you love me?” 

Billy took a step back and frantically looked for an escape. 

_What a question to ask someone you were just kissing!_

“I-I jah- I um.” 

_Say yes you dolt!_

“I mean I…” 

“Billy?” 

He looked at the girl. But something was different. She seemed paler, more washed out. 

“Billy?” she asked again. She seemed to be looking right through him. His heart raced. 

“Penny. I’m here I –” 

“Billy, where are you?” She looked around frantically. She was quickly fading away. Billy reached out to touch her, but his hand went right through her. Looking at the device, the young man noticed the last bar was blinking. 

“BILLY!” she cried as she faded into the surroundings. All Billy could do was watch as her form dematerialized. He waited and stood helplessly as her image became dimmer. He remained there until nothing was left but the light of the lantern. 

*beep beep* 

Billy closed his eyes, his heart growing cold once more. 

Gathering his belongings, Dr Horrible returned to the van. Moist was waiting. 

“Hey Doc, you ok?” the dampened man questioned, holding out an umbrella. For once, Dr Horrible was wetter than Moist. He pulled on the red lab coat and placed the goggles on his forehead. 

“Yeah. I’m fine,” he told his friend. He wasn’t sure if he was or not. He felt significantly more at peace then when he had arrived, but he still wasn’t happy. Far from happy, in fact. The weight, while marginally less than before, was still there and he knew that, if it hadn’t lifted after that, it never would. So no, he wasn’t happy. He doubted he ever would be. 

Moist hesitated before continuing. “We better get back. The League wants to know your progress on the updated trans-matter device in the morning.” 

“Right,” The blond nodded affirmatively. Moist got into the van. Billy turned around and took one last look in the direction of Penny’s grave. There may have been a tear in his eye, but with the rain, one couldn’t tell. 

“I love you,” he said under his breath. 

*END*

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Don't forget to comment! Comments equal cookies and I love cookies.


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